LJ Idol - Wheel of Chaos - Wk 7 - BAT

[bleodswean]

 

He lay beside her

Listening to her breathe

For two

played that over in his mind and thought no

For three

For each of us

she breathes

When he fell into sleep he dreamt

He was inside the earth, inside a cave

Dark but safe

A hearth fire

Flame light flickering on the walls

Blood red and illuminating two figures seated beside it

Naked and on all fours crawling forward

The distance was exhausting

On his belly pulling 

Across the floor of the earthen womb

The two were women

Mother

Crone

paying him no attention

Murmuring to each other

In voices muffled to his ear

But familiar and for a long moment

He lay content and felt the world expand

In the dream he became aware

It was time to wake

He pulled his body upward to a lotus and watched the two

Through slitted eyes as though the dim

Fire light was sun light

Here’s the secret

Keep it secret

I cannot

You must be able to

Don’t tell me

Please don't tell me it

The mother held her newborn to her breast

This is the weaver, she told him

She showed him the cord

anchored inside her body

Tethered to the child

this is the measure

the crone reached across with glinting shears

and cut

Comments

[adore]

So vivid and witchy <3

[bleodswean]

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[meridian_rose]

More imagery here. The other piece felt more Hades/Persephone this feels more like a man confronting the maiden/mother/crone, various aspects of feminine energy, his anima?

[bleodswean]

That interpretation works for me!

[ofearthandstars]

I love this! It elicited an absolutely incoherent burble of joy on reading it! It is so very sensory. 💜

[bleodswean]

Thank you!!! I'm so utterly delighted to read this comment!!! High praise and I am grateful! It was an intensely "clear" piece to write.

[swirlsofpurple]

Oooh, this is so evocative and thought-provoking, love it.

[bleodswean]

Thank you, J!!! I'm pretty pleased with the imagery!

[earthspirits]

Beautifully evocative, E. - and of course, I love the goddess energy in this!

[bleodswean]

Thanks, G! It means the world to me to have you reading and commenting.

[halfshellvenus]

Evocative and beautifully written!

[bleodswean]

Thank you, K!

[smokingboot]

Oh, this rhythm. Brrr!

[bleodswean]

*smooch*

[rayaso]

It should come as no surprise to me that you also write outstanding poetry. I loved the imagery and the flow of language. As always, outstanding job!

[bleodswean]

Aw, G, thanks! I am NOT a poet and when I attempt it, it always starts with a prose paragraph to set the stage. I do think poetry can be so so effective with a single emotive image that is too specific for prose? Although that sort of thing has been done flawlessly with "dirty realism" thinking of Tobias Wolff and Raymond Carver here...but it's a lot of work to write long for one visual.

[drippedonpaper]

I guess most poetry is a mirror.

I hear in this echoes of how I feel so tethered, close, joined to my kids and yet, as they grow, I have to let go (in a way.)

The moving to college etc often feels like that sudden "scissor cut" by the crone in your poem.

To me, the beginning of the poem, it sounds like the couple are pregnant and the man/boy is trying to understand what birth can mean from a mother's view? You're really making me think :)

[bleodswean]

This is a huge compliment, and I am deeply grateful! There are so many phases of our lives that have a measure and then come to the end of that length. I agree that a child departing for college is definitely one of those times!

[legalpad819]

This actually gave me goosebumps while reading it.

[bleodswean]

oooooh!!! Thank you!!

[muchtooarrogant]

Great imagery as always. I liked:
This is the weaver … this is the measure … and cut.

Dan

[bleodswean]

Thank you, Dan!

[inkstainedfingertips]

Beautifully written and dovetails nicely with your other piece. Nicely done!

[bleodswean]

Thanks, so much!

[alycewilson]

There's a hint of menace here, as well as such tenderness.