bleodswean

My brother and I had an email conversation today that led to my reflecting on my move here and I thought I'd outline my reflections.

In the Summer of 2023, I started thinking about finding a Continuing Care Retirement Community for me. I was 74. I had lived alone in the same place for more than 30 years. I was diagnosed with COPD which is degenerative and incurable. I was doing ok but for how long? My parents and my maternal grandparents had both spent their final years completely content in CCRC's. My grandparents' was a low rent church supported outfit and my parents' was a very high rent luxury place (which was actually church affiliated - Episcopal). I had already 'bought' into the concept. And somehow, I knew that there were long waiting lists - like 2 or 3 years so that I would have a nice long time to settle into the idea.

I started research online and found a list of places near Seattle. For a lot of reasons - and weather - I never really considered moving very far. I spent a long time on the websites of these places and eliminated them one by one. My reasoning was not at all sound. I had no idea what I was doing and had not done nearly enough preliminary research or thinking about the whole thing. So much of my decision was misguided and ill conceived.

Do not do it my way.

I found Timber Ridge online. It was classy looking. It was privately owned (not religiously affiliated). It was not far away (20-30 minutes from Seattle) in a town that I almost kinda knew. I'd worked in the Issaquah office of Microsoft in the mid-90's and I had very lovely feelings about the town. It's a wealthy town of mostly white people and that made me a little anxious. But, I could really not find any evidence of political issues so I plowed on.

It was the only place I actually visited or even actually talked to the management of.

Seriously do not do it my way.

I came and I liked what I saw and I was told the waiting list was probably about 2 years so I honestly figured my decision would not be binding at all. Two years to look at other places. That's what I thought.

Finances.

All CCRC's are different financially. But most are kind of designed to take the proceeds from the home you sell and hold those proceeds for years and charge you a monthly fee for housing, food, and a boatload of services. The bulk of the money is held in a non interest bearing state until you die and then you get it back. I paid Timber Ridge $40,000 for a place on the waiting list. Had I spent those two years looking at alternatives and found one, I would have gotten that $40,000 back.

Once you sign a contract, you pay them that giant lump sum (like those home sale proceeds). At Timber Ridge the sun is based on the size of the apartment you select. My apartment is the smallest they offer - 1 bedroom, 1.5 bath, 726 square feet. The largest is 2,273 square feet. I paid right at half a million as my lump sum. BUT when I give up this apartment (die, or move out of Timber Ridge), 80% of that half a million is returned to me or my estate. (There is also an hilarious clause that says if you don't die or move within 30 years, you get the 80% back anyway.)

Then you pay a monthly rent - mine is now $6,000 - and it includes nearly everything. Seriously. Food, bed, all maintenance, all utilities including cable TV and wifi, social life, transportation, classes, swimming, physical and mental health services. But, most of all, it covers the future. As I need more care, more care is here. Timber Ridge agrees to care for me until the end of my life. It's in the contract that we both signed.

Now, in my case, I think my COPD was a missed diagnosis. My medical records now say it has been 'resolved'. But, something will get me someday. And I have resources at my fingertips. Big things and small. Last week after I gave myself the Wegovy injection, I marched my two used pens down to the desk in the nursing unit and asked them to put them in their sharps bin. 'happy to!'

Had I done the research I should have and looked at all of the resources and different places around here and elsewhere like a reasonable person would do, would the outcome be different?

What happened to me is a bit of an anomaly. Less than a month after I handed over my $40,000 waitlist money and settled into for my 2 year wait, I got a call saying the apartment that was at the top of my list had come available and did I want it now. Yep. My two years got snatched right out from under me.

I could have said no. I probably should have said no. And then done the appropriate amount of thinking about it as well as the research and taken my chances on a different apartment.

But, I didn't. I said yes. I move in here on October 31, 2023. And in retrospect it was the right thing for me at the exact right time.

The problem with CRCC selection is that you really can't discover what is most important until you've lived there. Some things you can tell are issues - the place where you have to go outside to get to the dining room - or the place that has limited services or no covered parking stuff like that. BUT you can't really find out the important stuff until you live there. You can't know that the menus don't change enough and the food isn't that good ever until you've been there for a few months, or that the front desk never gets anything right and the wifi is always down and the pool is really closed mostly for maintenance or the gym staff is mean. NONE of those things are Timber Ridge things but they sure could be and you'd have no way of knowing until you lived here really.

Even on the days when I'm frustrated with all these fucking old people and why can't anyone manage them, I'd still have to give Timber Ridge a 95 out of 100. My friend, Christian, who designed my apartment has kind of a practice of doing the same at retirement places all around here. He sees the most of anyone at each one because he deals with the management and hears from the residents. I asked him once, out of all of them around here, now, with all he knows about me and them, which one would he pick for me. He gave it a long, good thought and then said 'really? Timber Ridge!'

I've probably glossed over stuff and/or left stuff out so if anyone has any questions, feel free. I'll answer, I promise.

The dining room manager shared her COVID with the kitchen and wait staff so dinner was canceled last night. Us four old ladies were left adrift. Bonny said 'well, let's go to that dive bar next to the Dollar Store and get some burgers!' So we did. We left early enough to get there in daylight and, hopefully, beat the crowd but we failed on the latter. Happy hour. ooops.

But it was fun. Turns out what Bonny calls a dive bar, the rest of the world calls a really fucking excellent pub. It's owned by my favorite steak house. And the food was phenomenal. It was loud but not painfully. Most everyone there, of course, was decades younger than us but that was the most fun. Look at the old ladies! And, they did not ask for ID when we ordered drinks. We really did have a great time. We might have to do it again. We did have to drive home in the dark but it was a familiar route and Bonny made it fine.

Dear Gmail. ANY, I mean ANY email I get in Hindi, is spam. k? Particularly if it's about insurance, car or otherwise. thanks.

It's 8 am and it's cloudy and raining so there will be no sun glare at the pool. So while I'm not dying to go for a swim, I can't really come up with any credible reasons why I should not. Maybe I'll take tomorrow off.

This week, in a once again, scheduling oversight, I only have two things out of the ordinary on my calendar and both of them are Wednesday morning. I have an eye appointment and Biggie's checkup. I don't know why I didn't notice this until right now. Possibly both are doable but I think I'll try and move the eye doctor. I'll call in the morning. If Biggie still has those rocks in his bladder, he'll have to have surgery. Ugh.

Biggie is a morning cat. After noon, he's dead to the world. He'll wake up for dinner and maybe to knock something over, but if he were to get some deadly condition after noon one day, I'd never be able to tell. However... in the mornings, like now, he's crawling over their keyboard trying to cause trouble. I was all set to sleep for a while longer when he and Julio decided to hop on the bed and race around the room. He's clearly not dying of anything right now except maybe my potentially swatting him across the room.

Ok. Fine. pool it is. I'm off to swim.