LJ Idol - Wheel of Chaos - Wk 7 - Oxytocin Loop

[bleodswean]

 

She was asleep, dreaming. And in the dream

there was a girl child,

innocent but serious, opened but mysterious,

blonde ringlets and bare footed

Running to and fro

A forgotten joyousness ensouled

They were upstairs, in his front room, all of them

Herself and himself,

her summer girls and their goat boys,

his messenger and boatman,

and even the moon. Lounging as was their wont,

drinking and smoking, bantering and laughing

listening to the grandmother clock tick the seconds

as though each minute was a favourite song

The child a focus of no one’s attention

but her own

and she was fiercely focused

because somehow

the girl child had found her secret heart,

clutching it against her body with both hands as she scampered

Let me see, she told the child,

show me what you have there

Imploring and intentful

Aware she did not want to frighten her

When at last she heeded,

Solemnly obeying,

Coming forward, leaning against her knees,

she gently gently lifted her heart from the offering hands

and settled back into a rocking chair

beside a hearth

She opened her blouse to offer her breast

because her heart was a nursling daughter,

slick with blood and vernix and

new born.

Wake up, he whispered.

Comments

[meridian_rose]

Lots of imagery to unpack here. And the other prompt, another dream, more imagery.
I've looked at the ljidol and it has two prompts so you've got 2 works but it also talked about an intersection? I don't think I understand the rules for this round at all. I've seen another contestant's work on my feed and so far they've only completed one prompt...

[bleodswean]

It is an intersection which is two players working the two prompts parallel or overlapping or intertwined. There was an original deadline of LAST week which I could not possibly make because we had a long weekend gone. Then the deadline was moved to today and I was like DAMN coulda shoulda woulda and then just intersected with myself because the partners were partnered.

[ofearthandstars]

Ooh, ooh, this one is lovely too! (Having just finished reading The First Witch of Boston it felt very grounded in that timeline/story, though I feel the actual timeline is much earlier.)

[bleodswean]

OH!!!! Thank you so much! Do you recommend that title?

[ofearthandstars]

I had mixed feelings on it. It's billed as historical fiction/based on the true story of Margaret Jones, but it relies very heavily on the fiction to fill in the gaps and ends up coming across more as a romantic tragedy as a result. So not what I thought I'd sat down to read! It has some intriguing imagery and the characters are witty/tender for the most part, though. Just be wary there is graphic content related to sexual assault/rape.

[meridian_rose]

Ah, that makes more sense, thank you. Also how your prompts are sort of mirrors, both dreams/visions but one from a male and from a female perspective which maybe worked better than trying to work with a partner. I'm glad you got to particpate and I hope you do well in the voting :)

[bleodswean]

I do love intersecting but it didn't work out this time and I did take a gamble with writing with myself. So relieved that you see these do work together. Always love your thoughts / comments! I used BAT as the acronym for Be Able To rather than the mammal as others seemed to have done.

Combined vote totals, so it will be hard for me - here's the poll if you want to read the others and vote!

https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1196686.html

[bleodswean]

Thanks for the honest review! I may check this out. I feel wary these days of reading about rape in a fictionalized content.

[meridian_rose]

Visited all the entries and voted :) Best of luck!

[bleodswean]

*glomps*

[ofearthandstars]

Yes, same! If I'd known those scenes were in the book in advance I might have passed on it. I didn’t feel like all of them (there are 3) were necessary for the plot to move forward. :/

[earthspirits]

This one is lovely too, the sweet, but fierce bonding of mother and child - and it's all a dream?
Perhaps a portent of things to come?

[halfshellvenus]

I liked the intersection of the dreams and a new child in each, and the sense of familial love coming from both sets of dreamers.

[smokingboot]

There is so much I love about this.

[rayaso]

I loved the end of this poem. I think that intersecting with oneself would too often result in a long story cut in half. The imagery here was wonderful, especially at the end.

[drippedonpaper]

From this, it ...to me, it sounds like a girl giving birth to her heart opening, to the "learning to truly love" for the first time.

And there can be no birth of love without pain.

I especially loved these lines:

innocent but serious, opened but mysterious,

and

Imploring and intentful

I love the rhythms in your poetry :)

[legalpad819]

I love the play of an oxytocin loop with new motherhood.

[muchtooarrogant]

This was wonderfully lyrical:
innocent but serious, opened but mysterious
her summer girls and their goat boys
his messenger and boatman

[bleodswean]

Really really appreciate you being specific, Dan! Means a lot!

[bleodswean]

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

[bleodswean]

Thanks, G! Sure wish I had gotten a partner that first week. I wasn't sure if I should try to write to both, but I really wanted to use the Be Able To prompt but I HAD TO write to this one having been a lactation educator for ten years!

[bleodswean]

*glomps you* Thanks!

[bleodswean]

Thank you, K! They both just simply surfaced out of the sea of my unconscious!

[bleodswean]

Thanks, G! I would like to expand on this in prose form!

[bleodswean]

I love this interpretation and say yes yes yes! Thank you for telling me about those lines in particular!

[alycewilson]

I love the dream sense of this, and how like in a dream, even the most bizarre things are just noted and accepted.