I think I feel a little differently about this, and so I'm struggling with a response.
I agree that platitudes do not lessen the pain, especially anything resembling the idea that the deceased is now "in a better place." I wish I could believe that to be true, but as an agnostic, I don't-- so those are often the emptiest words of all.
But for me, the one thing that helps the tiniest bit is knowing that others see my pain and are sorry for it because they care about me, and/or that they also grieve the loss of the person I loved. The resonance of shared pain is a fleeting moment of comfort against the experience of the world spinning onward as if nothing has changed, as if no terrible absence has occurred.
Nothing truly helps much, but some things help a little in the moment, at least for me.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2025-06-30 05:08 pm (UTC)I agree that platitudes do not lessen the pain, especially anything resembling the idea that the deceased is now "in a better place." I wish I could believe that to be true, but as an agnostic, I don't-- so those are often the emptiest words of all.
But for me, the one thing that helps the tiniest bit is knowing that others see my pain and are sorry for it because they care about me, and/or that they also grieve the loss of the person I loved. The resonance of shared pain is a fleeting moment of comfort against the experience of the world spinning onward as if nothing has changed, as if no terrible absence has occurred.
Nothing truly helps much, but some things help a little in the moment, at least for me.